I learned to walk on an advertising agency floor, so I have a unique perspective on how marketing doesn't work. I can help you to not do those things.

In another life, I was a creative director at a marketing agency, and here is some brutal truth in advertising: the client is more often than not wrong. Sorry, but you are. And that's okay. I can help you transform your haggard resting-wrong face into a vibrant none-of-this-really-matters-anyway creative gaze that will position your product or service or whatever bullshit you're slinging right where it belongs: beside everyone else's product or service or whatever bullshit they are slinging, but with 23% more "magic!"*

* Magic is assessed per engagement and itemized separately on your invoice under line SKU MAGIC-023, billed at twenty-three percent (23%) of applicable creative. Magic is non-refundable, does not accrue interest, and cannot be applied retroactively to work you had already decided was fine. Percentages are nominal; actual magic may vary by season, mood, and moon. Rounding conventions and the magic-to-fairy-dust conversion schedule are available on written request.

ready to make mistakes? i'm your huckleberry.

let's pretend this will all work out for the best, and then make-believe it will. see, we already succeeded! congratulations, us. i knew we could do it.

query@cosmiccommon.com

the fine print

Yes, I use AI tools where they earn their place. I'd rather hand you the whole bill than pretend I don't — so here is what our tools cost, a band never a point, every figure sourced. You had to go looking for this, which is exactly the point.

A heavy working day — measured

12 July 2026 · 1,168,478 tokens across four autonomous sessions

	Low	Central	High
Energy	117 Wh	584 Wh	2,337 Wh
Carbon	46 g	230 g CO₂e	921 g
Water	126 mL	631 mL	2,524 mL

≈ 10 hours of a running laptop · 0.6 miles of driving · 2½ cups of water. The high end is 20 times the low end, and that width is the most honest thing down here.

Inference only — it excludes model training, my device and the hardware, because I can't yet measure those honestly. Method: FinOps GenAI Cost & Usage Tracker — live usage export · four-tier Scope-3 Cat-1 inference methodology (2026) · figures regenerated from live usage · last updated 2026-07-12. Read it, argue with it, hold me to it.